hers

2009-02-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

i got no one close, that i really trust. no one.
cos i had lost the person long way back in 2008.
so fuck life. im getting a hell bored of the way my life is heading to.

nbcb.

no. nothing to look forward to. 24 feb this year, i bet would be the worst day ever.
2009 start wasn't as great as i thought it would be.

see jie sheng, ily

2009-01-07T23:17:00.000-08:00

dear, i dint mean to hurt u in any way. i love you, i do.

i went breaks with them,with no intention. not at all. i knew, i told u i will be good as for 2009 and beyond. but i dint xpect u to be extremely angry when i went break with them. i actually do not want to. but i did went down with a rule saying ok, i want to be back after 5 minutes.

i love you only dear, no one else. see jie sheng, i love u fucking much.
i feel sad. i really do.. why must our rship b of so low profile? i can't place ur name here and there. i dont mind pictures, but if name, why not? i dun mean to tell everyone all around the world about us as u dun like it, i respect u... but as a woman myself, i do feel the urge to tell ppl how happy m i..with u dear... i cant even hold ur hands anymore, hugs, kisses, they are getting lesser.

i dunno what caused ur changed, but i want u, im dying for u. i tried to be strong in any way, to live without you, but i simply cant. let me feel the love that u used to give me dear..

im sorry if i made u angry in any way, but i want to be like other woman too. let me be kay...

sometimes i just need a time alone;

but when i grab the opportunity to be alone, i will cry...thinking about u..simply you...i dun wan to let you go...even if i have to..i dont want..

dear, dun let these issues to be a matter in our rship.

i tried being strong, for this time being. i told myself, if u r able to go thru a year with a shit attitude of mine, why not me? i will dear..be as strong and stand tall for our rship. i will. i swear i will protect it..

i will dear, go thru any pain to get the old you. i swear i will.

i still remember how nice you were to me previously..
- u send me home every now and then, even if its the last train, u make sure i safely reach home, u even took taxi home
- u went down to my place when i got drunk for the fiesta at esplanade
- u kept calling me 24/7 when i dint contact u for the day, u were worried,
- u treat me anything i want and get me anything i need,
- u pay for my phone
- u be my pillar of strengths when i encountered problems(i cried and you stood by me 24/7)
- u tried making me to love you in many ways
- on and on,

BUT THE MOST MEMORABLE ONE WAS WHEN U HOLD ME TIGHT AND KISS ME, SAYING"HOW I WISH WE COULD BE TOGETHER FOREVER..."

but dear, wat happened now?
dear, i will get the old u back. i knew its my fault to read ur personal stuffs, to know ur flaws, but even if it was like that, i still love you.
forgive me for loving you damn much... )':

ugh

2008-12-27T23:53:00.000-08:00

im feeling rather sick as boyfren is away.
well, i went out only once when bf was away which is with my outside frens. even with that i dint ton for sure cos i felt like im missing bf way too much.
bf, i hoppe this is ur last trip overseas. im sick and tired of being left alone in spore.

fucklah, wth changed my bf.
i hope i'll get my palm on ur fucking face soon!

i want my bf to turn like he used to be.

fuck bitches.
dun flirt with my bf!!!!!!!

ahhh....whatever lah.

kepalehotakkau!

2008-12-22T09:21:00.003-08:00

hati(heart)says: aku dah bosan(im sick of everything). all da way things still appear to be the same.meh lah. aku start hidup baru. (nevermind lah, let me start anew)

aynn: fuck lah. get urself up first bodoh!

haha. gals power.

2008-12-22T09:21:00.001-08:00

boyfren. i love you, but i hate u hell lots.

2008-12-22T08:14:00.000-08:00

BITCH! IF U THINK ITS COOL TO HAVE A BOYFREN AND STILL FLIRT WITH MY BOYFREN, I HOPE U WILL HAVE A HELL FUC*ING LIFE!and bf, dun entertain her!

im tired of feeling hurt all the time.
im serious.
i am.

2008-11-18T00:05:00.000-08:00

i wish u knew what i mean. i have been trying my best to take care of ur heart, to always love you, to sacrifice everything for you, abandoning every single things i have beside me just to make you know that you are really being loved by me.

i knew i had done many uncountable mistakes in the past, but well, i have improved just because of you, and u can't even ssee that and appreciate?

i cried each day and night knowing that as each days passed, i am actually counting down the days i left to be with you..how hurt can i be? u seemed not to think of me anymore, and i kept trying to hold u back when you actually wanted to go.. i felt bad to hold you back, but i have no choice. i love you too much, and i felt as if i am killing my own life when i actually think of leaving you..

why dun we separate last time? why must it be now? what's my mistakes to prove that i am a bad girlfren to u? what have i done to receive all these in return?

i wish u knew what i mean. life is now a piece of shit.

you taught me how to love; how can i forget you?

a favour of love, will u?

2008-11-17T04:49:00.000-08:00

well, i love bf so much! i mean reeeaaally much.

i do not want to say that i can't live wwithout him, blablabla, cos if we are fated to be together,we will right dear? (:

i've seen the whole picture of couples breaking up and all that. boyfey, i don't want us to be the victim too ohkay? (:

i want us to enjoy life to the fullest together, goin thru the difficult as well as easy times together, despite anything happening. no matter how silly u look, i just simply love u! hee.

i went to toa payoh today and boyfey and me was so silly that while we are at toapayoh, we dint remember to shop for the shoes he's been wanting. and we will like have to wate time tomoro, goin down to toa payoh or the second time. teehee.

okayy, now i'm like expressing how happy was i cos for ur info dear, im lying on ur shoulder and if can, i would not wanna place my head off ur shoulder. being by ur side makes me sooo happy, cut short, I LOVE YOU!

take that

2008-11-06T03:36:00.000-08:00

yest was what a day! all day long i spent my time sleeping. i was having a serious migraine and i could not possibly wake up and do anything. all i am able to do is sleep, other than crying.

i dunno whats up with me, but the headaches are too strong, and i kept vomiting all day long. i can say that whatever gets inside my mouth, will get out of it in less than a minute.

im sick now, all i neeed is rest.

i'll write more other times okay..

2008-10-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

im felt more and more insecured.

aku syg kamu!

2008-10-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

aku butuh kamu kerna aku syg bangat sama kamu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

ask the creator..

2008-10-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

i just feel so damn depress. nothing seems to matter so much now.. i felt rather hurt, or should i say extremely hurt..

self mutilate? ugh.

well, i love you damn much, but the hurt makes my love fades for you as each day passed..but the feeling is still strong, still holding on to this love that you gave me.

fuck, i dont know what i am talking. i just love you hee lots.

2008-10-21T01:55:00.000-07:00

abandoned.

no one knows;

2008-10-21T01:34:00.001-07:00

i am feeling so down, but no one knows, or should i say no one wishes to know about it. or is it my fault that i am not sharing it with someone else?

tellme the main purpose of a relationship. how secured can a relationship be? what is needed in a relationship and why does one wants to be in a relationship?

how can one be so sure that she is in a right condition when all that matter is a piece of broken heart?

i am totally hurt. so many things happened to me. i know i might not be the only person to face this, but imagine how hurt can i be.

every night i kept wishing for it, hoping that someone will hear my wish and make it come true. but how possible can that be? i thought of running away; but the question is "how far can i run?"

desires on something which is never a something

2008-10-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

okay. goodness. im damn sad + happy; in short-- IRRITATED.

okayy, u just shut up. & LISTEN!

iterate whatever u said and done.

i had salivated for that very one person; i reckon; no one knows, not even that person.

one can just eavesdrop thru my heart and listen to what it says, yes i don't mind, but it is totally none of your business to know who that person is.

i'm gullible i know. but fuckyou!

okayy, again my handphone gonecase, i had to buy a new one.

"ROMEO, GET ME ONE PHONE!"

someone treat me just now; thankyou fren. someone went home with me just now; thankyou another fren. someone made me miss that someone; angry mannnnn!

okay. my post is nothing but just bluesheet. u just shut up okayy.

don't turn back. its over.

2008-09-29T03:26:00.001-07:00

cos u sucks big time.

'cause the heart cry for its soul by itself.
you weren't there to accompany the heartache.
thanks a lot to you.

interpret yourself, cos you are the contradictor.
nothing more important other than it.
go ahead, have fun smoking your life through.
its okay.
i'm alright.

2008-09-18T03:21:00.000-07:00

YO PEOPLE.
IM HURT.- hospitalised.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. CAT!

2008-09-18T03:10:00.000-07:00

tanned skin.
i love.

fuck! things has gone so fucked up now for me.
i want MONEY!

got boyfriend=got money

whaaha! fuck fuck fuck CAT!
i was like one idiot every single day. my day was like being haunt by cat. imagine! every single day i have to face this one fucking cat. i am like so damn scared of cat. and yest or should i say from that day onwards, i have to keep crying as and when i got out from my house. thanks a lot CAT!
i don't know. when i see the cat, it is just like i saw a ghost that is like so damn frightening to anyone's eyes.

CHASE THE CAT OFF MY CORRIDOR AND I WILL MARRY YOU!- to whoever.haha. be the saviour of my life! FUCK YOU LAHH!

i don't wanna get married until i found someone who has got MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.if no money pls, GET LOST! haha. im in like so idiotic unsensored, logucal, illogical, grrrrr mood. k shut up.

that was an incident

2008-09-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

i happened to notice that many people are so concerning. thanks to you guys for making my day despite the f*cking day i had.

grrr. to that love, thanks. at first it was f*cking shitass atmosphere, but in the end, luckily the day was saved-thanks to all those heros of mine! wahaha.

ohh that someone had just sent me a video about me n that someone's outing last time, i was whatever lahhh. why must u kip pieces of me when we are not even anything in the first place? im sorry that i made u heartbroken, but what can i say? i just dont love u. im sorry okay.i love that someone else..

wahh.please lahh. no emo here and there. i dunno why i got so like emotionally attached nowadays.. wth.

okay. i quit a job. bla bla bla.watever with it.

im going kallang tomoro with that love. okayyy.

on the way back home yest, i was stopped by 2 handsome guys, and guess who are they?? haha. shafiq n khalid lahh seyy. and then along the way we met zul, and along another way we met yus n the gang. wahh im like missing each of them, and suddenli they appeared infront of me.. members lame lah sey. thanks khalid, for the treat![= next tme bigger treat okayy. i slack with u guys again okayy as soon as i found a slot to fit u guys..wahaha.

nana, i love you![=

i dunno.i dun really understand myself now and then. i dunno. im just LOST!

if only you know

2008-09-15T03:01:00.000-07:00

if only someone out there is to understand, things would be better. i never found myself so frightened, so insecured, so worried over things this bad. as far as i know, things will never get so bad until u really get down and think about the matter.

i am really caught up. i'm caught up with problems that may never get me to the destination i had actually wanted to go to. its not this one problem, its not the other problem, but its like more and more and more problems seemed to be coming in. i don't wish to show that i am never unhappy with that person, but its just that i got my head running back and forth for millions or should i say infinite of hours.
i can't think.

and the moment this feeling engulfed my entire soul, i just feel like running away. i feel like running away from all the problems that seems to be an endless thing.

she asked me to visit the doctor, but how should i go when i myself is 1000000 times worried about my condition myself. life is ONCE, u live only ONCE, so when it comes the time for you to die, at the very end point, you'll die, no matter how hard u tried to stay alive..

what's the point of living, when all you know is that your life will end at the very end of the tale...life is never real, its just a fantasy island for both you and me, going thru sweet and sour paths pf life, and in the end feel like as though we are someone. but people, who are you, when you tried to say that you are someone? we are all the same. we are one creature that is being brought to the world to feel what we ought to feel for this time being. but everything will end soon.

pretty soon.

oits matt oii!

2008-09-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

hady, shidee, khai, faizal n bob, CEPAT!

gua dah ready nak gi Geylang shoppink okie. haha. sorry for the other time yg khai saket ciritbirit, n gua tension psl tknk tron sorg.

haha. okie, this wed kitorg gi Geylang k. buke luar. haha. nyahh nyahh nyahh. plan menjadi punye okie. dah dah cepat hady gi book table.

whatever lah seyy

2008-09-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

yest was wad a day. i went out with that love and we fought in the starting and ended up smiling with one another at the very end of the day.had spent like over $400 for this week. f**k!im BROKE.

to u ghurlfrens, im very sorry okie. i was too bust held up at Toa Payoh yest, did some shopping and had yet to come down to u ghurls stall at Geylang.but i will come soon okie sygs; ckin, fiza. [= haha.

yes, yest i ate KFC, and i told you, im like one hungry ghost. me and that love ordered a BIG kfc meal and im like eating 2/3 of it. haha.

i need a shoe badly. i really need one. buy me one plese, sweetheart.

ugh. stupid idiot guy, or should i say that-busybody said that me and colleagues are not doing our work properly. we are not marketing our product. so whatt lahh seyy?! its our problem lahh. you are not the in-charge at all

.mind ur business. NNOOOBB!

btw,

TGQs,

MR OMG says that LETS BREAK FAST AT HIS HOUSE THIS COMING SATURDAY.

contact me asap TGQs. [=

love!

2008-09-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

my babe, i love you.

yest

2008-09-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

thankyou dear mamat sabran for making my day!i love u lots lots!haha.
to the other peeps yg giler2 tu, thanks also okie. haha. spending my day at SP cca room the whole day, slacking with mamat, zul, andrew and the-other-hero, haha, pecah perooot aku.
lets go out someday again ok!

to the stuppiiid plus arrogant plus fuck-it tester, go and live ur fu**ing life.because of the quota ritttee. idiot. nevermind, all the best to you. i hope i won't get any mly tester anymore, they are simply, waddd theeee hellllll!

to Pen, Cicak, the gang thanks also. we karaoke next time okie. thanks for the support. i love u guys.

haha. my day was like all the way spent away with my lovelies lahh smlm! gembira tak terkate!starting got so fed up and stressed but in the end, we were all so damn HAPPPY!

but at nite, that dear boyfren nyahh nyahh nyahh with me, gawd...
but i still love him!jayyyyyyjayyyyyyy.

yest nite. i cant sleep.
people, imagine, something happened by itself. by itself. it was damn scary. i dun wanna storytell, cos now is already nite, ughhh. haha. tomoro shall story it(if i rmbr!)but yes, yest i slept with my dad!haha.

okayyy. i loveee it. simply lickiesss! [=

meeting my boyfren kayangan. haha.

2008-08-29T22:04:00.001-07:00

well. today i am so happy!!im meeting my boyfren. aduhh. hapiness engulfed me. gawd. stop it. its just a fan of mine, tenku wisnu. haha. nana following and we had decided to wear similar, which is a dress. (kononnyer dia akan perasan kite gituloh!haha.

yey. flight delayed. haha, this is due to the riots in thai. so that someone is still in spore. takecare okay. cos i am not there to look after you aite. and that someone told me that its a good thing to go thai as the massaging services are one of the top

(hak-kah-pui!)its all due to cheap as well as the one serving mostly are pretty women. ugh. fine fine. haha. dont forget get me all those things. i want ouhkayy.

TGQ outing seems to be postpone on and on. school starting. (i hate this so much!)

TGQs, i miss u my ghurlfrens.im fat. so fat. i hate my fatness, but i dunno how to deal with it. aduhh. kepeningan sihh.

just feel like it

2008-08-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

I had truckloads of fun with yana at Sakura. woohoos. ahaks, "penyamun tarbus", aduhhai.

yana: "ehh aynn, green light! cepat, cepat masukkan dlm tissue! sumbat mane2 tempat kosong!"

aynn: "aku seram lahh. jap2, jgn bagi aku tension''

yana: "aynn, nanti masokkan aku punyer skali ehh"

aynn: "haha. ye lahh."

and the moment went on and on till its like 9.00 pm where the place is gonna close soon. had fun with ya ghurl! muacks. gua sayang banget sama kamu! haha. we were like so bad. our "chauffer" were like waiting for us outside sakura, but we were busy taking photos with one another. hahs.

that someone is flying to thailand. for what? holidays. grr. i was supposed to follow but was held up by unstoppable events thats' coming up. gosh, "i'm sory i can't send u to the airport. i have work as well as events tomoro. goodness! but i shall take you from airport when u get back oukiee? (:" tomoro i will be going off to geylang with my cousins. weee. and sunday i will have to go to a hotel for a wedding fiesta. wahh.

i wanna get married! my ghurls, find me a guy. i want him rich, handsome(must have dimple), funny, on and on... can? can? wakhakha. tapi yang penting ; anak jati melayu okayy. hahas.

okay.. i got news. i wanna stop one job. cos its like taking whole lifetime to go here and there for work. of cos i dont weanna spend my whole teenage life worrking. ps:yey! going out with gfs soon!

2008-08-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

okay, wth. im like the last out of the four to upload those NDP pics. wahaha. i have hell lots of fun time at NDP at Esplanade with TGQs, my lovelies. (:
went here n there with claustrophobia feeling. i'm like holding anyone's hand beside me every minute just because im scared of crowds. wakhakha. especially cos it had been umpteenth times i was trailed by ppl. wtf. i mean guys. "yucks". i have the tendency to be extremely arrogant when people suddenly asked me this n that n i know the intention is actually "can i get to know you.." . and i will then reply with "fuck off lahh sey. " but if my mood is there, "i will layan them but filled with great arrogance."

i went to SAKURA with cikgu n yan yesterday. yann n me werent busy eating but instead we were busy packing. wad...haha, my bag n yan was like 0.5kg when we wen into sakura, but the moment we went out, ughh its like five times heavier.hahs, okays i will story when i had gotten the pics. [=

btw, i miss my hotbabes. diana, nurul, irah, nana, fana etc. on and on. miss you ghurls. fuck. im packed with stuffs. packed schedule ,my dearies. we shall go out reall soon. soryy, i cant ton that time babes. muacks. love u ghurls fucking much!

ugh

2008-08-22T03:06:00.000-07:00

wad the fuck. i'm like so running out of time. i have to juggle with so many things. and the worst thing ever is i don't even have time for myself.

imagine that.

ohh goodness.

my tp is coming and im like sacrificing all the money i had to pay for my driving practice. o completed all stages. syukur alhamdullillah. but i still need time for perfection. 11 september will be one of the most important test of my life. i don't wanna retake. i just hope i can get thru it once and for all. pray for me dearr frens. and i will love you for that. hahs.

i can't blog that often; just because im loaded with unlimited activities to spend my day with.

i never go down esplanade that often anymore. i ain't have time for my besties nor anyone else. ohh gosh.

my project. shucks. i don't wanna talk about school. it makes my day real bad.

work. work. work.
i work but where all the money had gone too? haix. money is soooooooo like water. there is always a need to buy something when i had money, but when i don't, there isnt anything i have to buy. ughh.

cry

2008-08-12T03:51:00.001-07:00

i need a break

yest.

2008-08-09T23:31:00.000-07:00

it was purrfectly fun!later i'll update when i had gotten the pics!